Monday, July 15, 2024

GETTING MARRIED TO MAKE YOU HAPPY?

A description of the book:

Getting married to make you happy? Probably not. Getting married is to help you and your marriage partner understand what a marriage is all about.

A marriage is a process of "two becoming one." It involves many changes and challenges, which the couple have to confront, adapt and cope with. Life is changing every moment, and so is a marriage. You have to change yourself as well as your marriage partner in order to make your marriage happy and lasting. One of the reasons why many marriages do not last is that there is "no accountability" in the marriages, and the couples are living in fancy and fantasy, instead of in reality.

This book shows you with real everyday examples of real people who have no accountability in their careers, money, relationships, sex and intimacy. Get the wisdom to survive and thrive in your marriage.

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A sample from the book:

Meaning of “Love”

 

“Love” is a big word in all human civilizations. For all religious disparities, love still plays an essential role in all the world’s religions. Love plays an important role in human lives, especially living in a world of conflicts and aggressions.

 

What’s the real meaning of the word “love”? Love involves your emotions and feelings. You love some things and some people. Love, ironically enough, gives you both happiness and unhappiness. When your love is fulfilled, you feel happy; when that love is rejected or unrequited, you then feel pain, which becomes the unhappiness. That, unfortunately, is the reality of love.

 

Loving others isn’t that easy; loving yourself is sometimes even harder and more difficulty. That’s also the reality of love.

 

The truth of the matter is that to truly love someone is very difficult, if not impossible, unless you love yourself first

 

Self-Acceptance 

 

In a general sense, self-esteem is the positive or negative evaluative perception of self.  It‘s a rating of self, based on a partial assessment of current and/or past traits. Many mental health professionals claim that achieving higher self-esteem is the keystone of good mental health. Such claims, however, are dubious at best.

 

Low self-esteem is self-doubt, often expressed in not asserting oneself in public or at workplace, and not pushing past one’s comfort zones. 

 

To love yourself is self-acceptance, which is accepting who and what you really are—and not who and what you wish you were (that is, your ego-self). It should also be pointed out that “loving yourself” and “loving your ego-self” aren’t quite the same. The former is loving yourself for who you really are despite all your imperfections; the latter involves loving or craving to be the person you wish you were. “Loving yourself” means you can love yourself as well as others, because they aren’t very different from you in that they, too, are as imperfect as you’re. On the other hand, “loving your ego-self” means it’s very difficult for you to love others, because you want to distinguish and separate yourself from others; accordingly, others must somehow satisfy your ego first before you can love them. That explains why if you’ve a big ego-self, you just can’t easily and readily love others. 

 

The bottom line: If you can accept yourself as who and what you really are, then it may become much easier for you to accept and love others as who and what they really are.  


GETTING MARRIED TO MAKE YOU HAPPY?

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