GETTING MARRIED TO MAKE YOU HAPPY?

 A description of the book:

Getting married to make you happy? Probably not. Getting married is to help you and your marriage partner understand what a marriage is all about.

A marriage is a process of "two becoming one." It involves many changes and challenges, which the couple have to confront, adapt and cope with. Life is changing every moment, and so is a marriage. You have to change yourself as well as your marriage partner in order to make your marriage happy and lasting. One of the reasons why many marriages do not last is that there is "no accountability" in the marriages, and the couples are living in fancy and fantasy, instead of in reality.

This book shows you with real everyday examples of real people who have no accountability in their careers, money, relationships, sex and intimacy. Get the wisdom to survive and thrive in your marriage.

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A sample from the book:

Marital Love

“A feeling that is strong one moment and gone the next, cannot be called love.” Kabir

Breakups and Divorces

The rate of divorce is skyrocketing in the United States, and the U.S. Census estimates about half of marriages end in divorce.  According to relationship experts, the number of long-term relationships heading toward separation is now becoming more frequent with a longer lifespan and a growing acceptability of divorce by the society. What some experts are saying is that people divorce because they’ve a longer lifespan, and that divorce is no longer a social taboo.

The breakups of couples married for several decades are known as “cold divorces,” often characterized by disengagement, distancing, and isolation. These kinds of divorces are often the products of a gradual buildup. The problems may have festered to the point where no one cares any more.

 

Marriage counselors say that there’re benchmarks in a typical marriage where divorce is more likely to occur.

 

·   First, divorces often happen during the initial two years of a marriage when the expected honeymoon period is replaced with the reality of having to get accustomed to each other's attitudes and living habits.

 

·      A second point for divorces is around the five-year to the seven-year benchmark, where children are typically born.

 

·   Divorces can also happen when the kids leave their parents’ homes. Many empty nesters divorce because they no longer have their children holding them together.

Pepper Schwartz, professor of sociology at the University of Washington, one said: “Staying in exactly the right relationship to one another is a very hard thing to maintain every decade. People think you only get closer over time, but that's not necessarily true.”

The bottom line: Failed marital relationships are painful, often causing depressive episodes and mood disorders, not to mention other health and financial issues.

Thinking questions

·       Is marriage like a dress that you throw away when it no longer fits you?

·       If you find that your body has outgrown the dress, can you slim down so that you can fit into the dress again, or can you have it altered so that it can fit into you once again?

·       Is getting a new dress easier than fixing the body or altering the dress?

·       If life is all about changes, then so is marriage. Can you adapt yourself to these changes to make it even more challenging and interesting, instead of taking a totally different pathway?

The reality

You don’t just walk away from a marriage because you don’t like it anymore. A marriage is a lifetime commitment for thick and thin, for better and for worse.

GETTING MARRIED TO MAKE YOU HAPPY?