GETTING MARRIED TO MAKE YOU HAPPY

A description of the book:

Getting married to make you happy? Probably not. Getting married is to help you and your marriage partner understand what a marriage is all about.

A marriage is a process of "two becoming one." It involves many changes and challenges, which the couple have to confront, adapt and cope with. Life is changing every moment, and so is a marriage. You have to change yourself as well as your marriage partner in order to make your marriage happy and lasting. One of the reasons why many marriages do not last is that there is "no accountability" in the marriages, and the couples are living in fancy and fantasy, instead of in reality.

This book shows you with real everyday examples of real people who have no accountability in their careers, money, relationships, sex and intimacy. Get the wisdom to survive and thrive in your marriage.

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A sample from the book:

Two Becoming One

 

Marriage is “two becoming one.” It’s like a glass of plain water with added honey to make it taste sweet. In other words, the water is no longer plain and tasteless; it has now become “honey water.” 

 

Change

 

“Two becoming one” means change. Marriage changes the life of a couple for better and for worse forever. Yes, marriage means “change.”

 

So, what’s change?

Buddha’s perspective of change

According to Buddha, the water flowing in a river is like a progressive and successive series of different but unified movements of water, all joining together to create the impression of only one continuous flow of water. Likewise, your existence is only moment-to-moment, with each moment leading to the next. This may give you the illusion that the “you” in this moment will be the same person in the next moment, just as the illusion that the river of today is the same as the river of yesterday. The truth of the matter is that you are changing every moment, and so is your marriage partner— especially now that the two of you have now become one.

 

Even from a scientific point of view, Buddha’s perspective of change is true. Body cell division takes place continuously in each living being: old cells die and are continuously replaced by new ones. In other words, you’re constantly changing, even though you may not be aware of it, and the change within you is a continuous process, just like the flowing water in a river.

The truth and the reality of change

 

You’re living in a world of constant change: everything is changing with every moment, and it remains only with that very moment. That’s the truth.

 

The reality is that change is inevitable in life. Any good relationship doesn’t remain unchanged over time. Everything in your married life changes: your appearance, your emotions, your intellect, your reasoning, and even your spirituality. 

 

So, you must acknowledge and recognize any change, explore the reality of change, and then accept and initiate the change, whether you like it or not.

 

Personality Change

 

Your personality plays a pivotal role in your marriage because it affects positively or negatively your relationship with your marriage partner, as well as that of your children and close members of the family. 

 

What’s personality? 

 

Personality comes from within. Personality traits are the characteristic patterns of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that uniquely define who you are. Some of the most common personality traits are:

 

•    Conscientiousness is the looking forward or the planning ahead to do the right things. This personality usually begins in the 20s of an individual and then slows down in the 30s and 40s. 

 

•    Agreeableness is the showing of warmth, kindness, generosity, and helpfulness to others. This personality accelerates usually in the 30s and 40s in a person’s life.

 

•    Companionableness is the being of sociable and energetic, always knowing what to say and how to say it.

 

•    Distressfulness is the frequent displaying of worrisome and temperamental behaviors by an individual. 

 

First and foremost, you must be aware of your own personality, and then make some change to adapt your personality to that of your marriage partner, as well as to adjust it to all the changes in the new life of “two becoming one.”

GETTING MARRIED TO MAKE YOU HAPPY?